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The Sergeant Majorette Says:
20 most recent entries

Date:2018-06-25 04:05
Subject:Is this thing still on?

Zeitgeist is a bitch. That is all.

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Date:2014-05-23 23:21
Subject:Still Into The Harry Potter World, And Don't Care Who Knows It

It might be the meds, but suddenly we have a hankering for some James Sirius/Scorpius fluff. Not too goopy or porny...

Anybody still writing HP fanfic?

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Date:2014-02-01 23:53
Subject:She's Effing With Us Again

Cut it out, JKR. Some of us live by your canon.

We stood by Harry/Ginny when really, the standard Harry/Draco made better sense. We got over it when Arabella Figg turned out to be not a powerful witch under deep cover, but a mere Squib. We accepted Narcissa as a loving mother and not Edina Monsoon's evil twin. We tried to conceal the twitch in the left eyelid at Remus/Dora. And Nymphadora's very existence, for that matter. You killed Fred. (Well, at least one of the Weasleys had to go.)

But Harry/Hermione????

So wrong.

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Date:2014-01-24 20:57
Subject:Spirit Deer at the Gates

Front of the house with golden spirit deer in the foreground and a dead lilac in the background.

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Date:2014-01-23 20:45
Subject:Little Plot of Horrors

littleplotofhorrors by sergeantmajorette
littleplotofhorrors, a photo by sergeantmajorette on Flickr.

Okay, this is what I've been doing, virtual gardening. This plot is all things I'm afraid of in real life...

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Date:2014-01-02 22:40

What, they changed the year again? Thank God I don't write physical checks anymore.

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Date:2013-08-05 23:51
Subject:Facebook Can Be Fun Now The Adults Have Co-opted It

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved. " Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"; or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"; to "A Bloody nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "xxxxxx Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate"; and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

John Cleese
(British actor, comedian and writer)

P.S. A final thought: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray.
Welcome back to 430 BC.

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Date:2013-07-24 17:49
Subject:Am I The Only Person Who Cares About This?

His initials spell GAL. He was born under a full moon.

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Date:2013-07-23 20:23
Subject:His Royal Highness Remus John Cambridge Wales Windsor Saxe-Coburg-Gotha Rufus Rastus Johnson Brown

All right, I'll say it: the kid was born under a full moon. Britain is destined to be ruled by a werewolf.

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Date:2013-06-08 09:00
Subject:World Doll Day

It's today! Really! Dollie-on!

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Date:2013-05-03 11:37

Every time I read about someone from my high school, I have to lie down; they're all so rich and famous.

But the other day I was watching the local news channel and saw a piece about someone who was in my class, whom I knew, being profiled as the "most powerful woman in New York."

Well, okay, I knew she was rich and still fabulous after all these years; I don't begrudge her the success she earned. But most powerful? I didn't even finish college.

I'm sending myself to bed without any supper.

Thank God for the dollies, and the wool. All the wool...

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Date:2013-04-19 12:37
Subject:Terror in Boston

Caucasians. I knew it.

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Date:2013-04-18 21:00
Subject:Hey, Democrats! Grow A Set, Already!

You can't reason with Republicans. You can't compromise. You have to be just as crazy.


Yeah, we want gun registry.
Yeah, we want background checks.
Yeah, we want to take away your assault rifle. Then we're coming for your hunting rifle (buy your meat at the Piggly Wiggly like a civilized person) and your target pistols. We say you're too crazy to be trusted with any projectile weapon.

The Second Amendment is about a well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state; at this point in history that would be the Armed Services, not a rabid bunch of howling rednecks. You want to fire military weapons? Enlist. Too much of a weasel to risk death for your country? STFU.

Think government spending is out of control? And you're still accepting a salary? We say, fire the House of Representatives; minimum wage for the Senate. Scale back your ridiculous life benefits to the level of the average civil service worker.

We want unrestricted immigration. Don't like it, go the hell back to Europe where you came from. Nobody asked you to come here, nobody forced you to come here, but you did, bringing disease and carnage and pollution in your wake.

(I just wish John Boehner would come to my house so I could hit him on the head with a Barbie doll.)

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Date:2013-01-24 21:05

It's cold. Not cold enough for me to turn on the heat, as my apartment gets sub-Saharan real quick, but cold enough that I realized I hadn't seen my down comforter for ages.

I think it's in that big bagful of compressed featherbeds under all that California Variegated Mutant sheep fleece.

It will have to get into the single digits (not counting "wind chill") before I bother to dig it out.

Still, a real winter! The first in five whole years! I'm up for it...

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Date:2013-01-08 00:51
Subject:Damn, I'm Good...


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Date:2012-12-27 21:40
Subject:De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum... (The Dead Pool)

...so if you you want to talk smack about the elder Bush, our bet is that you'd better get that done by New Year's Eve, because guarded condition is Old Latin for "Yeah, we could send him home to die peacefully in his own bed, as the saying goes, but honestly? Just get here!"

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Date:2012-12-27 18:56
Subject:How May We Do?

Light a candle or something: tomorrow's the Feast of the Holy Innocents.

Just sayin'...

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Date:2012-12-16 17:02
Subject:The Sextile Potterverse

Happy Christmas from Teddy and Victoire...


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Date:2012-12-13 16:55
Subject:Most Depressingly Cheesy Christmas Lyrics, 2012


"It's the holiday season
So whoop-dee-doo and dickory-dock,
And don't forget to hang up your sock
'Cause just exactly at twelve o'clock
He'll be coming down the chimney, down!"

I swear I didn't make that up; it's an Andy Williams abomination I never heard before this year (unless I'm blocking it...)

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Date:2012-12-07 10:54
Subject:A Christmas Incident in the Potterverse

In Which Albus WafflesCollapse )

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